I can be pretty self absorbed, especially when I don’t feel well.
So, in a desperate attempt to knock myself out of my trying-to-not-drink agitation, I decided that I should take some recently given advice with regard to getting out of myself by giving back.
A few weeks ago, I ordered a book called 29 Gifts by Cami Walker. The cover looked a little sugar-coated and flowery for me when I got it, so it sat unread in a big stack of books (mostly about the Arctic) on my sofa.
I finally picked it up the other night. The basic story is this: Cami was a 32 year old woman suffering terribly from MS. She was in chronic pain and addicted to her medication. Out of her mind in misery and with no idea what to do, she finally took the advice of a medicine woman, Mbali, who, ignoring Cami’s very real and seemingly unbearable plight, prescribed that Cami give away 29 gifts over 29 days.
I figured if this disabled, chronically fatigued, suffering woman can find the energy to do that (and then write an inspiring book about it), I should at least try the exercise.
Day one was easy, since I still had to shop for my adopted Christmas family. My family consists of a 21 year old girl who transitioned out of foster care and her two children, a two year old daughter and four month old baby boy. For Christmas they want a double stroller, dishes, and baby clothes. I ordered their gifts online.
Day two was also kind of easy. I had a $20 credit on Kiva.org that I have let sit for months without relending. Today I added $30 to my account and loaned out $25 to a Peruvian woman named Yoli, a 33 year old mother who is trying to grow a small clothing business. (This might sound crass and strategic, but, since I have to do this for 29 days, I am saving the remaining $25 for another day.)
I can’t actually afford to spend my way through this exercise, so (while on my way to an expensive hair color appt) was interested by a sign draped across the road declaring, “Meals on Wheels Needs You!” I figured that might get me four or five days over the next few weeks, so when I got home I sent them an email.
I won’t get to do that one until next week at the earliest, so I have to find something else for day three.
I’ll need to weave in simpler and cheaper gifts (Cami’s gifts are sometimes phone calls, listening to someone in need, etc.), but those three were readily available and easy to do.
I already feel the nervousness of impending (blog-public) failure, so am going to declare up front that I will set the goal of doing 29 gifts in 29 days, but may not do this perfectly.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
.
postscript: I tried to write about my AA meeting(s), but I was a little too warped to do so. I’ll probably reflect on it over the weekend and post on Monday.
postscript II: If you are blogging, please feel free to post links to your recent blogs in your comments. Many people don’t know or notice that your name is clickable, so explicit links or references are helpful. (Oh, but sometimes my spam filter holds comments with links; I push them through when I log on.)
Have a great weekend and see you Monday!
***
Countup: 10 days of no drinking!
Countdown: 147 days until I move into my RV!
11 Comments
Good morning Jennifer!
That sounds like a very interesting and rewarding exercise! Good for you for exploring a variety of healing methods.
AA is your journey to sobriety with the help and support of one another in your group. If you feel it will help you to talk about it here on your blog, please do so. But if you aren’t comfortable with talking about it – then don’t worry about it. It’s none of our business but we are here for you as another “support” group if you should need us.
Congrats to you on ten days and going strong!
Have a beautiful weekend! *hugs*
What a great idea! I also think that it helps me stick to a goal when I declare it to others. So, I think talking about this plan on the blog is a good idea. It is snowy and cold here in Minnesota today. Send us warmth. That would be a gift!
Too bad you didn’t read that book before gave everything away about a month ago? ha ha. jk i know the point of the book and I see only one flaw or perhaps problem. The more I have been giving away the more I am receiving.
funny how giving creates abundance rather than scarcity eh Joey?
congratulations on your 10 days, Jennifer. i remember when i was quitting drinking and how miserable i was at the beginning. believe me, it does get better. hang in there.
its supposed to snow here in East TX today – i’ll believe it when i see it LOL.
Kiva not quite what it seems?
http://blogs.cgdev.org/open_book/2009/10/kiva-is-not-quite-what-it-seems.php
Good post Jennifer, even if you only did half of the 29 nice things, you are way ahead of the game.
Anything that makes you feel better about your world works.
Good post ET, very eye-opening. Thanks for sharing.
Have a great day!
Jennifer,
I found the rig for you on Ebay-It’s even been to the arctic circle. Check out the pics. Not sure if it has room for the stairmaster though.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Unimog-4×4-expedition-camper_W0QQitemZ300374403752QQcmdZViewItemQQptZRVs_Campers?hash=item45efb5aaa8#ht_710wt_1167
Sorry for the long link.
Jennifer…congrats on 10 days sober…..best thing you can do is invest in others….sounds to me like you are on the right track, and getting good advice! Merry Christmas…..
I stumbled into these guys and their trip to Alaska late this summer. You may have already seen it but I thought I’d pass their site along.
http://www.jessicaryanphotography.com/DigitalScrapbook/Alaska2009/Alaska2009.htm
Congratulations on your sobriety and attending a meeting. You are doing it!!! and I am very happy for you.
There are several things you can do that are incredibly inexpensive or free [now you have me thinking] I really like your ideas so far.
You can help an elderly neighbor with their shopping, raking or snow shovelling [sorry can't remember quite where you live, but we got 7 inches yesterday] Baking cookies for someone is always nice.
I always like to take a coffee and a doughnut to our tollbooth guy. He seems to appreciate it. Sometimes I will give him an extra dollar to pay the tolls of the next two cars behind me [.50 cents]
I wrote a post on Thanksgiving thanking my faithful readers of my blog and then requested that anyone who would like a Christmas card from our home could send their address. Who doesn’t love a Christmas card? And if you do Christmas postcards they are even cheaper [less postage
] I love Christmas and I am really in the spirit this year.
You could post a link on your blog in support of someone who is fighting an illness. [I have Lupus and a friend did this for me as a surprise and I found it to be one of the nicest gifts I have ever received] That is free.
You could go through your books [I love books like you do too] and pick a few for special people in your life, inscribe them and give them away. A sacrifice, sure – but a wonderful gift just the same.
I don’t know if any of these makes any sense – but Random Acts of Kindness are definitely gifts in my mind [I don't know if the author agrees as I haven't read the book] but if I think of anymore I will let you know if you like.
Take care [and sorry for the lonnng comment.
Dear Angie, I don’t know what my deal is. I am going to AA meetings daily, but can’t write coherently about them. I think I am too defensive and my thoughts are in too much motion about it to think or write clearly.
Dear Barb, I made the leap after seeing your recipe organization post! I look forward to updates. ; ) Oh, and you won’t believe this, but it snowed here on Friday! It was like magic.
Dear Joey, Good luck on your RV trip tomorrow. See you when you get here…
Dear Dawn, I’m catching up on a lot of comments. So, uh, how much do we have in common? It seems to be quite a lot!!!
Dear ET, That is an incredibly interesting post! I mean, I support micro-lending in general, but that *is* kind of tricky. Well, at least it makes me not feel so bad, because I am really a 62 year old man in Des Moines.
Dear Karyn, That is my thinking exactly. The exercise in general is more thought provoking than I expected, so it has me thinking a lot about giving in general. I’m sure I’ll blog about that.
Dear Steve, Ha ha ha ha ha. My sister Joey called me after you posted that and told me I had to check it out. You’re right! It’s perfect!
Dear Clarke, Thanks. By the way. Why do you have an e after your name? I keep trying to think of names that your name must be short for and it is driving my obsessive brain crazy.
Dear John, OH MY GOD. Everyone go check that out. They are crazy! I love that all of these comments are keeping me so entertained.
Dear SkippyMom, Those are great ideas! One interesting part of this exercise for me is understanding how I have to integrate small gift giving into it. (Rather than large charitable endeavors every day) I think I’ll blog about that later this week…
Thanks to all of you! I hope you had a great weekend.
Take care,
Jennifer