“Did you just come off the Dempster?”
“Yes!” the man washing his mud caked RV angrily barks back at me.
More tentatively, “uh, how was it?”
“Dreadful! Awful! It rained all the way up and all the way back! We almost went right off the road! It was awful!”
I didn’t know a road could make a person so angry. Despite my desperate desire for more information, I decide not to ask him any more questions.
Entering the lobby of the truck stop that serves as ground zero for the Dempster, I try to find reassurance from the woman behind the desk.
“So how is the Dempster? Will I really get a flat tire?”
fuel containers for rent
.
“Well, it has been raining for two days and yes, people do get some flat tires. You should be carrying spares and extra fuel.”
“And you have tow services here, correct? If I have car trouble I can call here to get towed?”
She laughs, “Oh, well, our tow truck broke down. So, no, we wouldn’t be able to come get you.”
I’m sure I’ll think that was funny later.
.
.
.
.
***
I’ve had more moments of extreme panic about this trip than I’ve posted on this blog. I figured one or two posts were enough, but my fearfulness comes more frequently than that.
As my sister, Joey, reminded me, “Jennifer, you used to drive past two grocery stores because you had anxiety attacks when you tried to shop in an unfamiliar one! You have come a long way!”
At this moment, I feel that I have come a long way. I even have an unexpected sense of having completed my journey here, at Mile Zero of the Dempster.
Not because I am not going to try to do it, I am. But because getting to this point was actually the hardest part for me. Getting to the point where I show up, well prepared, with a willingness to do something that is very scary for me.
I hope you will indulge me here, but right now, I feel very proud of myself. I feel proud of myself for being brave. I feel proud of myself for being afraid and for still moving forward.
I’ve done everything I can to prepare and if the Dempster proves to be impassable for me, that part is simply out of my hands.
I am actually more excited than afraid this evening.
I’ve planned this for almost a year. I can’t believe I am actually here.
The Starting Line
16 Comments
Jennifer,
It doesn’t matter where you end-up.
It’s the journey that counts!
It’s your journey through life that has me looking forward to checking in each day.
Keep exploring, Keep traveling, Keep posting.
It doesn’t really matter which direction you go in. Have FUN!
“To infinity and beyond!” (quote – Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story)
Eeeek, now I’m scared. PLEASE let us know you’re okay at every opportunity (if there are any up there).
You are already our hero! Huzzah!
You have so earned your pride. And I am proud of you, too! We are anxiously waiting to learn about each day of your adventure. Feel safe. Be safe!
Cheering you on from waaaaay down here on the other end.
I’m learning that the persistence and strength it takes to get to the starting line well prepared is the heroic part. The adventure is the reward for building all that power (power = strength over time). I’m still working on the heroic part. Be gentle, take it slow, and enjoy the ride, whatever it brings.
Be proud.
Be careful out there, and remember this isn’t our journey, this is your journey. Where you end up depends on where YOU want to go. Not us.
What you have done so far?
Brave girl. Very brave.
You are my hero.
Karyn
You will be fine! And looking back you will question why you thought it was a such a big deal.
Love your self, be gentle with your self. The best planning in the world does not prevent problems from occurring, it just help you cope with them when they arise. You can certainly handle anything that comes up. SO GO FOR IT!
Bring back the brass ring and show it to everyone!
Just think of the stories you will tell.
Love your writing!
James
Remember, “Life is a journey, not a destination”
as if either of us wanted to think about this non-obvious caveat … when googling dempster highway I came upon this handy info… don’t sit down on the side of the highway!
http://publications.mcgill.ca/reporter/2008/09/northern-spiders-explorations-in-the-yukon-tundra/
I am so enjoying your trip. Be safe. Have fun.
Sharon in Lansing, MI
You’ve done nothing less than spectacular throughout this journey. I have every confidence that you will do your level best to make it as far as you’re able. No matter what happens, no one, no one can take away your accomplishments! Don’t ever forget that.
Having said that, I have a feeling you’re going all the way on this trip!
Steve
though i try not to make a habit out of taking the pulse of an audience, i think it would be safe to say that we are all rooting for you and are holding steadfast to the most positive of expectations in regard to your experiences throughout your travels.
i think it’s good that you recognize the measure of your progress, helps to solidify courage (least for me anyway).
can’t honestly say i’d be too hurried to go down a road that could also possibly make me angry and force me to change a tire in areas of shin deep mud… one plus however you have about that, your rig has dualies on the back – slight insurance.
maybe the road could have more of a happy making quality to it, if it were to stop raining and dry up a bit? any hopes of those two conditions coming any time soon?
Just take it slow and easy enjoying the scenry all along the way. Maybe carwash man was driving like a bat out of Hell. At any rate just imagine the stories you will have to tell after you complete your journey. Also too, think of the responses you will be able to come up with when someone asks you “Did you just come off the Dempster?”
Use your own instincts on this part of your journey. Usually that is the best way to go, rather than attempting something because you think other people are expecting you to do it, or your inner feelings of needing to ‘prove you can do it’ keep pushing you onward. Should you get out there and feel uncomfortable with going forward, you personally should decide the best thing for your situation, be it going on up the Dempster, or turning and heading back. Your wellbeing should be your (as well as your readers) main concern. We’ll enjoy any and all of your adventures, be it making it to the final destination or your turning back and getting the opportunity to slow down and really enjoy the many places youve passed by along the way. I wish for you lots of fun, an inner happiness and pride in what you have already achieved so far, no matter how your journey ends!
Congratulations. You have arrived. You’re so wise. Enjoy.